From One to Two, or How Humans Evolve to Use 2 Arms Like 16.

The other day I took my son out on a little mommy-son date.  I wanted to buy him some more shoes and socks (seriously kid, what is up with your monster feet?  Size 7 shoes and barely 2 years old?  Why?!).  Before heading into the store, where he would have to call up all the patience a 2-year-old can muster while Mommy inspects everything, I decided to give him a little treat and stopped by a little burger shack.

It used to be a favorite place of mine to eat for lunch when I was working.  It was sadly not as great this time around, and I was highly disappointed.  But that's not actually important to the story, so:

I watched my son bounce around all the tables.  This is a rare occurrence for him, as normally his father or I will be holding him or having him sit in a high chair.  We don't let him run around free.  But, we were the only customers, so I figured it wasn't so bad.  He enjoyed it and I got to smile.  The workers thought he was adorable.  Win/win all around, really.

We ate.  He ate a lot (hello growth spurt; starting to wonder if maybe a shoe purchase should have been delayed), but we still ended up with a little container of food.  And my drink.  And my purse.  And him.

As I struggled to get out the door with food-drink-purse-him, I started panicking.  How am I going to do this with two?!

Food in one hand.  Drink in crook of arm.  Purse over shoulder (fell to elbow) of other arm.  Him in other arm.  As far as I'm concerned, the math says "YOU HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO PUT A NEW BABY."

Fuck.

I know it's possible; I see people do it all the time.  Maybe when this kid comes around, my 2-year-old will actually be able to be trusted to walk straight to the car and get into his carseat instead of trying to dart into traffic.  Maybe I'll just grow a couple arms.  Maybe I'll be able to balance my food and drink on my head while carrying two kids.  I have no idea.

All I know is that it is possible.  People can do it.  Which leads me to believe that moms of multiples have magical powers to use 2 arms and make it seem like they have 16.  Maybe there's a class?  I could totally take a class.  I'd probably fail... but, hey.  I'd love a class.

I'm pretty sure I'm never leaving the house once there's two of these things running around.  The panic attack I had even thinking about it made me realize I'm still a newbie to this parenting thing, 2 years in.